Kiss This Read online

  Kiss This

  Hadley Quinn

  Copyright © 2013 by Hadley Quinn

  The characters and events portrayed in this work are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or deceased, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No parts of this work may be copied or reproduced, with exception of quoting excerpts of material for reviewing purposes.

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  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.” –A.A. Milne

  PROLOGUE

  February 2012

  Teague felt pressure on his forehead as someone pinched his skin together, and he took a deep breath as he returned to consciousness. When Jay patted his face roughly, Teague finally opened his eyes. There were several familiar faces hovering over him, and while the medic tended to the cut on his forehead, only one person was bold enough to say what was on his mind.

  “What the fuck was that?” Jay asked with disbelief. “Were you seriously trying to kill your damn self?”

  Teague blinked and tried to rub his eyes, but something wasn’t working. His arm. He couldn’t lift it. “Ah, shit…” he sighed.

  “What?” Jay asked. “What’s going on, pal? Talk to me. You know where you’re at, right?”

  Hell yes, he knew where he was at. Why else would he have five pounds of sand in his clothes and up his ass? “I dislocated my shoulder,” Teague groaned as the pain finally registered. He used his core strength to lift himself to a sitting position on the beach.

  “Ah hell, not again,” Jay said, observing the way his shoulder drooped.

  “Are you sure?” the medic asked.

  “Yeah, I’m sure,” Teague answered. He bit back a string of curse words he wanted to shout and just took a deep, aggravated breath instead.

  “Okay, stand up,” Jay said. He grabbed Teague’s good arm and pulled him up to a standing position. He braced one hand against his chest and said, “Ready?”

  “You’re not supposed to fucking ask,” Teague growled. “Just do it.”

  “We can set it for you, you know—” one of the medics began, but Teague already let out a strained groan as Jay knocked his shoulder into place with his other hand.

  Jay faced his cousin as Teague took a few measured breaths. “You good?” he asked.

  Teague slowly nodded as he adjusted to the pain. “Yeah. Get me the hell out of here.”

  They walked past a sea of faces but Teague didn’t look at a single one of them. He mumbled a few words to those it was necessary to speak with, but other than that, everyone left him alone and let him walk away.

  “What happened?” Jay finally asked when they were sitting in the Mustang.

  Teague took in a long, deep breath and shook his head as he let it out. “I wasn’t ready to do it.”

  “Teague, you could do that fucking jump in your sleep.”

  “Fine, I had my mind elsewhere, okay? It’s fucked me up so bad that I… I just can’t be here anymore. I just can’t. I need some time away from it. From all of them. I can’t take it anymore.”

  “Okay, I hear ya,” Jay nodded.

  Teague released a heavy sigh. “Quentin has a house in Oregon. He said I could use it for as long as I want while he’s in Europe. I think…I think I’m gonna do it. I need to get away from here for a while.”

  “Where in Oregon?”

  “Somewhere on the coast near Lincoln City.”

  “That’s near where my dad is,” Jay mumbled, running a hand over his head. “Oh well, who gives a fuck. I’ll come with you.”

  Teague shook his head. “I don’t think you want to be around me right now, Jay.”

  “I’m good for a vacation. How long?”

  Teague slowly shook his head and then rested it against the seat. “I have no idea. There’s nothing in this fucking place worth coming back for.”

  Jay didn’t respond as the car growled out of the parking space.

  Teague could feel the stares even with his eyes closed, and when he chanced a glance back at the beach, his anger began to refuel. Watching him leave were the two people in his life that should love and support him no matter what, not stand there shaking their heads with disappointment.

  “I need a damn cigarette,” he mumbled. He was surprised that Jay stopped at the first minute mart, but not only that, allowed him to smoke in the Boss with him in it.

  But then again, Teague’s life was a tangled mess.

  Even Jay felt sorry for him.

  Chapter One

  Ten months later…

  Camryn Jacobs looked over her closet as she pictured the packing list in her mind. She snagged a few of her staple items, and then chose a couple of basic sweaters. Her sister was sitting on the bed cross-legged with the stereo remote in her hand. She switched Camryn’s alternative rock station to Christmas music instead.

  “Try not to forget to bring the mail in,” Camryn said, placing several items on her bed. “You can just put mine in here on my dresser.”

  “Sure,” Melanie answered.

  “I already paid anything that was due for the next month, so you won’t have to worry about that,” Camryn continued, removing three pairs of jeans from a drawer.

  “Okay,” was the indifferent reply.

  Camryn rolled her eyes. Like her sister would care if collectors pounded down the door and the landlord kicked them out of their two-bedroom Fresno rental. It wasn’t Melanie’s responsibility, after all. Nothing was.

  “Don’t forget to change the water in that damn birdcage, either.” She considered trying for the most efficient way to pack, and then just decided to stack things however they ended up.

  “Fine.”

  Camryn tossed the last of her underwear and socks into the bag and started to zip it shut. “You know you can come with me, right? Brandon said he’d check on the house.”

  Melanie flashed her bright green eyes with alarm. “I’ll do whatever you just said, Cam. I promise. I mean…I’d rather not be stuck here alone, but going with you to see mom is a definite no for me. I just can’t do it.”

  Sighing to herself, Camryn decided to let it go. She’d much rather have Melanie come with her and let Brandon check on the house. Two images dashed through her mind: the house totally abandoned while Melanie flittered off to the next party, or the house completely in shambles because of the parties that would plow through it.

  “And I can’t because I work,” Melanie added flippantly as she examined her nails.

  Camryn almost laughed. That was an excuse used when it was convenient, not because she actually believed it. At nineteen, Melanie Jacobs believed that one semester of college was enough, and that her job as a barista was the best job in the world to pick up guys. It wasn’t exactly far from the truth, either. She always had some guy pursuing her and another one chasing the hook she dangled.

  Toting her bag to the hallway, Camryn pulled her phone out of her pocket to call Brandon. Melanie yanked her feet off the bed and silently followed her sister, just so she could listen in.

  “Hey, I’m ready to leave,” Camryn said into the phone. “Of course, but I want to leave by noon so I can at least get halfway tonight.” She set her bag by the front door while she finished her conversation and then hung up. “I’m leaving in about ten
minutes when he gets here,” she told Melanie. “We’re gonna get a late breakfast/early lunch and then I’m heading out.”

  “It’s called ‘brunch.’ And my hair appointment’s at eleven-thirty so I guess I won’t be here.”

  Camryn grabbed a jacket out of the hall closet but didn’t know what last minute parenting she needed to do. Tossing the jacket on her bag by the door, she decided not to lecture her little sister again. She wouldn’t listen anyways.

  “Drive safe,” Melanie added.

  “ ‘Kay,” Camryn nodded. She gave Melanie a long hug and sighed. “Please call me if… Well, just call if you need to.”

  “Sure, Cam. Tell mom hello, I guess.”

  Camryn nodded as they pulled apart. She didn’t mind helping her mom with funeral arrangements; it was the emotional hurricane she was going to face in the process that was going to get to her, and without someone else to share some of the drama, it was going to suck even more. “Please call her anyways, Mel. Even if you don’t want to.”

  She saw Brandon pull into the driveway as Melanie nodded a reluctant agreement. They spoke their goodbyes to each other as Camryn grabbed her purse and shut the door behind her.

  ***

  “I don’t like the idea of you driving that far on your own,” Brandon said, placing a hand over Camryn’s thigh to squeeze it. They were practically side-by-side at a tiny table for two, and he placed his elbow on it to lean his temple against his fist.

  “I’m a big girl,” Camryn replied. “Obviously you know that by now.”

  He laughed sarcastically. “Yeah, I do. But still, it’s just the idea of you being on your own if something happens.”

  “And what’s going to happen? Car problems? Gas station attendants wanting to fill me up instead? A lonely trucker luring me into his love lair?”

  Brandon lightly laughed. “Not funny, Cam. No truckers.”

  “Gas station guys are okay?”

  “Sure. But only if you tell him your boyfriend’s a six-foot-five linebacker for the Raiders.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “Six-five, huh? Boyfriend? And the Raiders? Hmm, I could lie about your height and status, but the Raiders? I’ll tell people you’re a Sumo wrestler.”

  He laughed out loud but shrugged. “Fine, fine. Whatever works, pretty girl.”

  She finished off her iced tea as the waitress dropped the check on the table. Brandon scooped it up to glance at the total, pulled his wallet out of his back pocket, and dropped a few bills on the table with the tab. He took Camryn’s hand and said, “Come on, lemme show you how much I adore you. Cold Stone for dessert before you leave.”

  She gave him an approving smile and let him pull her along to the parking lot.

  Sliding his arm around her shoulder he said, “I am going to miss you, ya know. I wish you weren’t leaving for so long.”

  “Two weeks isn’t so long.”

  He unlocked the passenger’s door of the truck and waited while Camryn climbed in. When she sat, he gave her a look and said, “Yes, it is a long time. I’m gonna miss that smart mouth of yours.” When she smiled at his remark, he leaned in and pressed his lips against her forehead.

  She kissed him hard on the cheek before shoving him back. “Get in and drive,” she commanded playfully. “I want ice cream.”

  With a grin he shut her door and hurried around the front of the truck.

  Camryn’s thoughts were all over the place just from sitting in this seat. The smell of the truck had never changed. If she closed her eyes and imagined hard enough, she could place herself in a life two years ago. They might be going to the lake right now. Zach would be holding her hand, or better yet, have her crushed up against his side. Her head would be against his shoulder and they’d be debating music or sports. She probably would have kissed on his neck a little, played in his pants a bit, and he would have joked about crashing the truck. She could hear his voice, his laugh, his witty remarks…

  “Did you catch that?”

  Brandon’s voice smashed into her reverie, and since she was brought back to reality, her chest started to hurt again. It was never a good idea to think about Zach in public. If she were at home, she’d curl up on her bed and cry.

  “Um, what?” she asked.

  “The Keys,” he nodded to the radio. “You want me to get tickets?”

  “Oh. I’ll have to check the calendar, but that sounds great.”

  Brandon flashed her a pleased smile, even though she knew he could see right through her. He was ready for her to do one of two things: either shut herself off entirely, or get pissed and demand the gym.

  He reached over and put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “In for three, out for three. You’re just fine, Cam.”

  She nodded with a smile to reassure him. Two years ago her life had suddenly changed. The first year was the hardest as she dealt with the anger and despair, trying to find anything she could to bandage the gaping hole in her chest. Heartache had been killing her from the inside out and she depended on physical exertion to get her through it. She kept busy with work and looking out for her sister, and focused on as many distractions as she could to remain emotionally afloat.

  The second year wasn’t any easier, just different. The heartache was still there, but acceptance had started to settle in but it was almost just as bad as the despair. It was the loneliness that crept in and took over her heart. It built a blockade so nothing could affect her. There had been a few that tried, but there wasn’t enough there to even chip away a corner of the brick wall she put up.

  Her mind wasn’t held captive in any way. She wanted to move on. She needed to feel something again. Her head told her yes, it was time to progress; her heart constantly riddled her with guilt and fear.

  Head and heart needed to get on the same damn team…

  Chapter Two

  Teague inhaled a slow drag of nicotine and let it out even slower. He flicked the ashes into a tray next to him and leaned over the railing, assessing the ocean with his dark blue-green eyes. Olivia Beach was sure boring as hell, especially in December. The day was partially sunny, so there were a few people out on the sand, but every day he thought about his former life and wondered what he’d be doing instead of just biding his time in Oregon.

  But it didn’t matter. This was the tempo he needed. A slower pace, honest and friendly people, and a simple job he felt at ease with. It wasn’t fixing anything, but it was all he could do for now.

  A figure caught his attention down below. He narrowed his eyes with curiosity as he took another drag from his cigarette. Pink, long-sleeved top nicely fitted to her body, and black skintight running pants. She was wearing a gray beanie over blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders.

  Teague had nothing else to do, so he crushed his cigarette in the ashtray and wandered to the stairs that snaked down the embankment for the beach. Entranced, he barely realized where he was headed; where he hadn’t gone the entire ten months he’d been living here. He watched her his entire trek down, even though she was already far-gone. He figured she’d eventually turn back around and head his way again.

  Unless she already was headed back from the way she came… Nah, he’d been on the deck for over an hour and noticed every man, woman, child, and fucking dog that passed below him. He didn’t remember any tight-bodied chicks going for a run.

  He hesitated when he hit the last step on the stairs and stared at the sand below. Ten damn months and he hadn’t even touched it. Taking a deep breath, he convinced himself that his hiatus could be over. He shrugged, trying to feel apathetic, as he sat on the bottom step with his bare feet on the sand. Then he glanced down the beach to his right. He could see the dot of her bright pink top in the distance, but just barely. He pulled the carton out of his chest pocket, tapped another cigarette out, and lit it. He took several drags from it before he looked down the beach again, realizing that the girl was heading back his direction.

  “Let’s see how your hot chick radar is f
unctioning today, Teague,” he smirked to himself.

  He waited patiently as her black pants carried her closer and closer to him. She was running near the shoreline, which was thirty yards away. This beach didn’t have much of a beach at times, but today the tide was in-between.

  He had plenty of time to debate whether or not he would act on his findings. If she was hot, hell yeah he wanted to talk to her. If not, no loss. The trip down and up the steps would be good for his lazy ass today. Then again, he’d most likely hit the weights later anyway.

  Taking another drag, he noticed she’d be passing by in the next ten seconds. He could already tell she had a nice body, and the long hair was a turn on, but other than that, she could be a total dog.

  “Or a beautiful piece of ass.” He almost choked from his cigarette as he stared at her passing by. He didn’t even move and just watched her run, eyes forward, pressing on like nothing could distract her. He tried to tell himself to get up, to holler something at her, anything… But he just sat there like a dumbass.

  Her figure disappeared to the left of him, and he watched as she hung a left for the public stairs and disappeared.

  ***

  Panting and out of breath, Camryn climbed the two flights to her mother’s monstrous house. If it wasn’t the cold Northwest air, it was going to be all these damn stairs that would kill her. Her ass and calves were on fire.

  She pulled out a house key that was zipped in the waistband of her running pants and slipped it into the lock. The second she opened the door she heard her mom’s weepy voice call out, “Cami, is that you, sweetie?”

  She could hardly sigh with the heaving breaths she was taking, so Camryn just nodded to herself. “Yeah, I’m back,” she replied loudly. “Where are you?”

  Lord, this house was ridiculous. It was three levels but it was anything but simple. It sounded like her mom was upstairs, but Camryn was surprised when she came around the corner right in front of her.